I have been dealing with PTSD most of my life after Vietnam. For many years I didn’t know what it was.
I lost many years as did many Vietnam Veterans wondering what was wrong.
I know when I returned or “rotated” from Vietnam to the “world” I was not the same as before I left. I returned a different young man.
I was lost and there were no Vet Centers or VA looking for lost veterans. There was no place where we could go and talk about our problems.
I was discharged from the USMC in 1969. It would be 1978 when I found a place where there were other veterans like me, not able to find their place in life after returning from overseas.
I would listen to veterans at a RAP group for at the Dallas VA hospital and I found out they had the same problems I was experiencing.
Where I did not suddenly have an awakening I did have a better understanding of what was wrong with me. I was drinking too much and feeling very alone and sad most of the time.
I recently read in a blog from a veteran who was describing his experience with PTSD.
He said he would be OK when suddenly he would feel a burst of ‘sadness.’ I was experiencing that very emotion as I read this description of “war neurosis,” of ‘shell shock’ whatever it was called it is the reaction of a human body to being ready to die or be killed constantly for a length of time.
Day and night it keeps your stress level very high. As we go home the stress level remains high.
Everyone else around you is operating at normal stress level and do not get freaked out at having to go to a place too crowded.
As I get older I am beginning to look back on my life and I have been dealing with this problem for a long time.
I have read about it and I have experienced the effects of it on my life. And the affects of it in my children and siblings as we grow older together, I wrote a book about it.
My wife Nelda has been ever by my side trying to help me through life and deal with her problems brought on by me and her own life.
I look back and realize how much she has helped me. The VA is a mess but they have hired good people to help us get past PTSD. Evaristo Flores, Dr. Pujols, Dr González, VA clinic in McAllen, Hugo Martinez in Harlingen, and so many more.
We can help ourselves and fellow veterans by writing about any problems with the VA, you can mention any VA employee who does not treat you with respect.
The newspaper, by writing a letter to the editor, is a great place to air your issues.
The VA was created for Veterans men and women who sign a contract stating I will give my life if necessary for my country.
Think about that statement. In my own problems I never wish I could go back and “not serve” my country, it has never entered my mind.
It is the only part of my life I can count on. I can be proud that I knew what could happen but I chose to fight and give up my life if necessary for this great country.
This Memorial Day, give some serious thought about our country and the men and women who have served this great nation.
The ones who did not return and the ones still struggling. I thank you for your service and for your friendship in my life.
Fred Rendon Jr.
Harlingen
