Advice: Loving your kids when they misbehave

BY MARIA LUISA SALCINES

When your children misbehave as toddlers, you understand that their behavior stems from not knowing any better.

As they get older, your children start acting up and talking back. It’s difficult not to lose your temper when your child raises his or her voice and slams doors.

The older your children get, the more difficult it is to have patience with them. It happens to all of us.

When your child acts out, that is when he or she needs you the most. It’s easy to love a well-behaved child but it is most important to love your child when his or her behavior is at its worst.

During adolescence, children are going through physical and mental changes, and this will continue into their early 20s.

It’s not always easy for kids to figure things out. The closer you are to your kids, the more they might lash out at you.

However, this doesn’t mean you have to put up with their behavior. You should never allow your children to be disrespectful and you should always talk to them about how their behavior affects your family.

Parenting during this stage is difficult, and all you can do is take things one day at a time, and remind yourself that this too shall pass.

When your child does something wrong. Give him or her consequences, talk to them about their behavior, and then forgive them.

You have to keep giving your child the opportunity to do better. Every mistake your child makes will mold him or her into a different person.

Most adolescents go through an awkward, inconsistent, and sometimes irrational stage that will be difficult to understand.

Love them and patiently continue to guide them.

We live in a virtual world and kids today don’t communicate the way we did with our parents. Sometimes texting or sending an email makes it easier for your child to share his feelings.

The method you choose to communicate is not important. What is important is that your lines of communication stay open.

Count to three. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. And keep reminding yourself that somewhere inside the adolescent with the attitude is a great kid.

Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer and certified parent educator with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily or on Instagram mlsalcines. You can also contact her on her blog FamilyLifeandFindingHappy.com.