We applaud all dads on this Father’s Day, even as we note that compared to Mother’s Day, there is little equality between the sexes. Americans spend millions of dollars more celebrating their moms than their dads on their respective days, and even the tenor of the days is different. Traditionally, mothers get the day off, as families dress her up and take her out to a nice restaurant or other venue. Visits with dad are more utilitarian: families often stay home and even put the old man to work, grilling burgers and steaks on the grill.
There’s a logic to the difference, however. Mom traditionally is the primary worker at home, making the daily meals and cleaning up afterward. A day out relieves her of such chores. Likewise, dad traditionally has been the primary wage earner, and staying at home puts less strain on the old pocketbook.
Of course, other differences between how people treat their parents are obvious. Many people feel closer to their mothers, probably because many of them have spent more time with their mothers. Traditionally, many mothers have stayed home and cared for the children while the father has gone off to work. This was true even before the Industrial Age, as the fathers normally went out to hunt or work in the fields while the mother stayed home tending to the household. That continued as the economy changed and growing numbers of men went to toil in factories and offices rather than the fields and forests. Dad was absent more often, whether he, or the families, liked it or not, as he was off earning the family’s sustenance.
Mom became known as the nurturer and counselor, with dad often serving as the disciplinarian. It inevitably drew many children to feel closer to their mothers than to their fathers. Courts recognized that difference, usually awarding custody to the mothers following unsuccessful marriages.
Unfortunately, broken marriages are not uncommon, and over the past decade around 24 million children have lived in single-parent households, most of them with their mothers.
We are seeing changes, however. As women have become a larger part of the work force, we are seeing greater equality in the home as well. Fathers are spending more time at home and growing numbers children living with one parent — 16% — live with their fathers.
Even better, the old story of fathers abandoning their families is changing as well. While nearly one-third of all marriages end in divorce, that is down from nearly half of all marriages a generation ago. Some 944,000 divorces and annulments were recorded in this country in 2000 — a rate of 4.0 for every 1,000 Americans — that number has fallen steadily over the years; a little more than 630,000 failed marriages — a rate of 2.3 per 1,000 people — even as our population grew by more than 40 million.
Countless studies have shown how children benefit from having a father at home. These days, more it appears that more fathers are staying home, and taking on larger and more thorough roles in their children’s development.
We hope these numbers continue to improve, and Father’s Day becomes more significant for more children, and their parents.
